Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Attacking Male Sexuality


Male identity is one of the fundamental drivers of the MGTOW movement; which, for anyone returning to this planet after a decade of vacation, is a growing pathway of masculine self-identity in which men are rejecting a statist, a collectivist, feminist or even a female-approved definition of what constitutes a man.
Instead, MGTOW men, or Zeta males, are defining their own identities as men – without much regard for the convenience and utility of those identities to outsiders, to women or to a runaway state. It is, in fact, a revolution of thought in which men declare themselves human beings of worth – and don’t ask permission or apologize or allow anyone else to devalue their humanity in preference to their utility.

Male sexuality is of course both demonized and treated as a form of predation, but also strictly limited to a narrow set of acceptable expressions. Outside of sexual identities which place men in positions to benefit women as sexual gate-keepers, masculine sexuality is generally condemned.

This is evident in the frequent use of rhetorical attack on male sexuality as a go-to response to criticism of feminist dogma. Almost as popular as “you just hate women” is a catalog of ad hominem attacks reducing to “small penis, mother’s basement dwelling, and unemployed virgin”. These standard and frankly boringly predictable insults all relate to a man’s inability to gain access to sex, or in the case of an imputed tiny penis – to perform sexually.

The most absurd and telling indictment of this most puerile insult is that the accusation of sexual failure is nothing more than a reflection of the feminine sexual selection of whatever woman offers such commentary. Oh, you don’t fancy me? I can assure you darling, I completely understand just how you feel.

However, there is a thread of opinion with a growing currency among some MRAs which rejects the legitimacy of men whose self identity and sexuality is gay or bisexual, or indeed, transsexual.

Some of the rhetoric around this refers in condemning tones to the “gay agenda”, which as nearly as I can tell, includes such radical notions as “let’s not beat up or murder gay men” and the equally shocking “let’s extend to gay men and women the same legal rights everybody else has” and so on. If that’s the gay agenda – as a MRA, or just as a decent human being, then I’m behind it.

Sometimes scriptural argument is invoked in the condemnation of gays, bisexuals, and anyone else whose sexual identity is non-heterosexual.

None of the other obsolete rules of ancient holy writings are given modern credence, but gay men are heaped with scorn and contempt and scripture is used to justify it? I don’t have much to say to this attitude besides grow up and get over it.

Male sexual identity is both policed and vilified in a feminized culture and some MRAs are now doing what amounts to the same thing. These are men (and women) whose sexuality, either chosen or not, doesn’t conform to an acceptable standard – and some within the MRM would demonize them. Gentlemen and ladies – this is nothing short of stupid.

At what point does who an individual finds sexually attractive diminish their value as a human? How is it that a man whose preference doesn’t include vagina becomes less of a man? Conversely, are we going to pretend the sexual preferences of our female colleagues matter in the context of partnership in the fight for the human rights of men and boys?

The valuation of human beings, of men and women, based on who they’d like to fuck or what kind of orifice they prefer is stupid and has no place in the men’s rights movement, or at AVfM.
Admittedly, some people might find the prospect of non-heterosexuality alien, foreign, and unappealing. As a much younger man, having inherited the prejudices of the era I grew up in, I was perplexed and scandalized to receive the occasional flirtatious attention of gay men. But then I grew up, and got over it. Isn’t it time for this human rights movement to do the same?

If we don’t get over it, then this is not a men’s rights movement, it’s a straight men’s movement. Or, it’s a white men’s movement, or maybe, a tall men’s movement, or a republican men’s movement. For myself, I find these narrow categories and self-selected separations to be unhelpful, and irrelevant in a larger fight for the humanity, and the human rights of men and boys. In the phrase “gay men”, gay is an adjective, and men is the noun.

When men are not expected to die without complaint any time higher gas prices make it inconvenient for soccer moms to drive from their gated community to the local grass pitch, or any other time men’s utility trumps their humanity, well then maybe I’ll entertain the usefulness of keeping the gays or the darkies out of the club house. On the other hand, maybe I’ll still think it’s a stupid argument. But I do know that for a so called men’s rights movement to marginalize men based on who they want in their bed – well, it’s beneath us.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Foreskin awareness in Vancouver’s Pride Parade


Photo by James Loewen
On Saturday August 4th – as with each Saturday preceding, and each following, I and my brothers-in-arms, or at least, brothers-in-posters gathered to paper Commercial Drive in Vancouver, repeatedly. A partial account of the contest of whether men are in fact; human beings was posted on this site 24 hours ago under the title “men’s rights are not human rights”.

However, a two day debate over the humanity of male human beings, argued by gluing up, and tearing down is not all the members of Vancouver MRA got up to. We also marched in a parade. A big one.

Unknown to me until late on Saturday, Vancouver’s Gay Pride Parade was scheduled for the very next day. Following repeated gluing up, I and another member of Vancouver MRA headed to the steps of the city’s art gallery to attend a public meet-up of a Canadian anti-infant-circumcision organization called the Canadian Foreskin Awareness Program. Can-Fap.net

We were of course, just late enough to find a handful of the members of Can-Fap.net, including James Loewen having a few final words with interested bystanders as he packed up posters, signage, and other gear. I briefly introduced myself, traded email contacts and found myself invited to join the members of Can-Fap marching in Vancouver’s Pride Parade the next day. How could any civilized human being refuse?
The following day, I made my way through the thronging 19 billion trillion million bazillion parade attendees to an agreed-on intersection, only to discover that the city’s police had erected steel and wire mesh fencing, separating filthy gawking pedestrians from the marchers in what is frankly a parade arguably too big for the city to actually handle. Many of those parade participants of various sexes being partially or completely nude.

Temporarily thwarted by police, security guards and a massive tidal surge of foot traffic, I spent the next hour hunting for the Can-Fap parade marchers who I eventually located by following a man in a Can-Fap T-shirt, a codpiece, and running shoes. He also had a hat, to keep the sun off his head.

After locating the Canadian Foreskin Awareness Program marchers, I was given a sign to carry, and spent the next hour chatting and frankly gawking at the spectacle as parade floats and other groups shuttled into the parade route ahead of our group. Due mostly to an aversion of heavily crowded places, I have never attended the Vancouver Pride Parade before, and it is a truly gigantic event.

James, who invited me, took some group photos, gave the newcomers (including me) tips on working our placards for the crowd, and pretty soon we were shuttling ourselves onto the parade route.

As Can-Fap’s mandate is to be: Canada’s feistiest pro-foreskin advocacy group. We promoting foreskin education, appreciation, and stimulation, and advocate for the human right of all children—male, female and intersex—to grow up with intact genitals.

Our parade marching group was led by Can-Fap’s founder Glen Callender whose no-pants non-stop dancing enthusiasm kept the several million spectators entertained and energized. (cheering, or in some cases pretending to be indignant).

It has been said numerous times that public activism on behalf of human rights for men and boys takes balls. Glen adds penis and foreskin to that requirement, and not as a figure of speech. However, led by a dancing naked mad-man, this is how I spent my Sunday marching in the biggest parade I’ve ever seen. It was truly a blast.

After about 90 minutes of walking, waving to crowds and waving our signs, we reached the parade’s conclusion at the beach at Beach Avenue. Glen, obviously sensitive to potential squeamishness of newcomers to a pants-less man bestowed us with high-fives rather than the enthusiastic hugs regular members of Can-Fap collected. I chatted again to James, the group’s photographer, bought myself a T-shirt and finally made my way home, sunburned but having had a truly great time.

Can-Fap’s website is now linked from the home page of A Voice for Men, and I look forward to continued participation in public activism opposed to the mutilation of male, female and inter-sexed infants.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Reproductive Slavery


Reproduction is thought of by some people as a human right. Usually as a woman's right. Some people think of it as such, but I'm not one of them, because the phrasing I've used just now implies the right to spam one's environment with very small copies of themselves. And that's a tricky issue about resources and do babies own themselves stewardship of another life, and at what point a clump of cells becomes a person and so on, and while these are all interesting questions, they aren't what we're talking about in this discussion.  Instead, I believe very strongly that self determination in reproduction is a basic human right. Im not talking about what's recognized by scripture or government or social convention, I'm talking about what I recognize as fundamental and self evident in any human society recognizing the principal of self ownership.


A woman's body, a woman's choice.

And I'll bet some of you have heard me mention that before. I might even give it a name, like, the lie that launched a million rants. Well, perhaps not a million, about a half dozen maybe. But this phrase, a woman's body a woman's choice while it sounds on it's surface like a good solid bit of common sense, is woefully incomplete in explaining the popular public ethic surrounding human reproduction, the courts, the law, and the presently accepted use of violent force against those who have their own bodies in the race, but neither choice, nor rights, and often, not even a voice. A woman's body a woman's choice carries a lot of meaning, and if you're not a woman, one of the things being said is shut up and do what you’re told. And pay up sucker.


The reality of effective autonomy for an individual's control over their own fertility has two components. The first what is practical through technologies which afford an individual control of their own body's reproductive capability. For women, this comes through a wide array of consumer products and technologies, including birth control pills, diaphragms, foams, subcutaneous implants, injections, creams, jellies patches and other technologies. This is the practical technology of control women have access to.  However, balancing the techniques and technologies are legal rights. Women, quite rightly
own the basic human rights of self determination in reproduction under the colour of law.

Men, by contrast enjoy no such legal rights, and when this is pointed out in an effort towards correction, that old mantra is trotted out again. “A woman's body, a woman's choice”. Men, we are told, do not reproduce, and thus, have no need for basic human rights of reproductions which in 2012 are assumed as simple common sense for women.

However, the claim that men do not reproduce, sometimes talked about in terms of pregnancy or child birth – is not a true claim. Women do not become pregnant by pollination by bees, or through parthenogenesis. A baby's manufacture takes the contribution of gamete cells from both a woman and a man.


In the discussion of technology versus legal rights in reproduction, there is a political question – why in the western world,  after 50 years of a female pill is there no male birth control pill? It exists, it has been developed
and is used in china. Why don't we have it in the west?


In fact, it has been gender ideologues who unilaterally deny men access to basic birth control technology women have enjoyed for a half century. A male contraceptive pill has existed for at least a decade. According to Dr. Elsimar Coutinho, a Brazilian endocrinologist and a human reproduction scientist, the male pill is widely used in China. However, in an interview on Brazilian TV, Dr Coutinho explained how when seeking approval for a male contraceptive pill based on natural substances extracted from cotton seeds, he was denied permission at the Budapest World Population Congress.
During his interview Coutinho explained:


In Budapest, I went to try to get the support of women. I thought, if women support it. The American feminists were all there, including Betty Freidan. It was her, I started to speak and in some ten minutes, she interrupted. She said: Dr., do you think we’ve fought our whole lives to have in our hands the decision of having children or not? Do you think we’re abdicating that? Men say they’re on the pill, women believe them? Do you know what you are, what you all deserve? To have credibility, swear you’re using pills just to get laid and leave? Leave us with the responsibility and then ‘the pill failed’ ? I was dazzled, because the women stood up screaming NO MALE PILL!!



Just as women are the mothers of the very small human beings we call children, men are the fathers. Unfortunately, whether men who become fathers do so out of genuine choice and desire, or because that choice is taken out of their hands by deception, force, theft, or blackmail – men do not enjoy legal reproductive rights. What they do enjoy is the legal requirement to abide by the decision and choice made by a woman exercising her legal rights in matters reproductive.

We are by no means finished with this catalog of grievance – but a discussion of what is usually blurred past by gender ideologues arguing women's reproductive rights is necessary, and that's chromosomal contribution. The corporation monsanto includes in their business model a practice of suing into extinction farmers who by accident grow plants from the seeds of Monsanto farms which enter their fields blown without intention by the wind.

The producers of food, that which every human alive depends on are sued into extinction by a corporation, with the full support of government and legal system, on the basis of seeds blown accidentally by the wind. That is the existing legal precedent over the unlicensed use of genetic material.

And yet, women often make the decision to reproduce unilaterally, sometimes by lying about their use of the pill or any of the other female technologies for self control of fertility. There are even a substantial number of stories in the media of theft of semen from condoms in the exercise of women's right to engage in baby making, and of purposeful misattribution of fatherhood when play on the side by a prospective mother needs a more financially stable financier than whatever unemployed bad boy who was coming in the side door while soon to be dad was at work, at work.

And a man named father by feminine fiat has no legal choice. Ready for another objection? He made his choice to be a daddy when he chose to have sex. Ive heard this objection too many times to count, and to everyone whose given this claim voice without intention to refute it, shame on you.

The choice to have sex is not the choice to produce a baby for women, and nor should it be, because reproductive rights are a subset of basic human rights. That's not even the right to spam the local environment with copies of yourself. It's the right to not reproduce, and under current legal convention, men don't have this right.

But it's worse than just that. Although a man can be co-opted into fatherhood, with his own gamete cells or even with somebody else's – its worse than that. Men are required by law to finance the exercised reproductive choices of women. If a man finds himself in this un-chosen obligation without the financial means to keep paying for up to 18 years – our society will cheerfully throw him in a prison cell. Debtors prisons, despite being illegal are still used against men if they don't pay for the baby-making they have no legal rights over.

But it's even worse that this. Women, being the only humans who have reproductive rights also enjoy the ability to eject fathers from the families they are part of, while retaining a significant fraction of the income of these men. The family courts are the instrument of this process, those courts funding them selves by a fraction of the appropriated income of these men. And if they cannot pay – our media rather than correctly identifying them as exploited, denied basic human rights, and treated as money and labor dispensing appliances – we instead call these men deadbeat dads. And once we've labeled men as such, our media, our politicians and celebrity talking heads heap contempt and scorn on a class of humans denied a fundamental human right.

And when all this is pointed out in argument, what is the most common response from those who would deny men a legal right in reproduction. Ready? Having and raising a child is difficult and costly, and therefore, the unwilling co-option of another human being's income and life, well, thats perfectly fine because a woman choosing to reproduce is undertaking a big expensive and life consuming project.

That's the argument men claiming their own human rights in reproduction encounter with regularity in this debate.

This is a system under which people are treated as property, and are forced to work. These people can be held against their will, and deprived of the right to leave, deprived of the right to choice in their lives or work, robbed of the financial compensation for their work. Historically, the social institution allowing this was recognized by many societies.  In more recent times this has been outlawed in most societies although it continues through the practices of debt bondage, indentured servitude, domestic servants kept in captivity, child soldiers, and forced marriage, and forced reproduction and forced reproductive financing.


And in order to continue to argue, to deny men legal self determination in reproduction, those making the oppositional case must either defend the institution of slavery, or deny that men are human beings.

Brazilian TV interview  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JymN5yu-K_o

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

You don't hate, do you?



This poster was designed by Neil W. and in my opinion, it is beautiful. Thanks Neil. A reverse colour version (which won't eat your toner cartridge as fast as a very-fast-thing) will be available for download, printing and posting up in public within a few days, from this site, as well as on AVfM.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Fear and the Blue Kool Aid


REAL-MAN rides to the rescue againPrior to writing this, I had the pleasure of watching a video in which a collection of young and apparently dim-witted individuals recited a list of everyday social situations, along with reminders for men in those situations to not commit the violent crime of rape.

When your dropping off your date at night, don't forget to not rape her, mmmkay?

Whether this is more hateful towards men, or stupidly inane is an open question. But to imagine that anyone besides a mental defective thinks men, or even a significant fraction of men are a bunch of rape-inclined predators needing a reminder to not rape beggars belief. But, we currently live in a social climate where the asinine and powerfully hateful message of a “friendly reminder to not rape” is socially normal, and material of this character gets regular air play in our mainstream media.

Another public service announcement currently getting play on Canadian television, called “it's a girl” depicts a baby shower, attended by an ethnically diverse group of middle class women. This shows the audience of this PSA that women are united as a social class, and united in the message this PSA is delivering. One gift package passed over to the bulging new mother is unwrapped,  revealing a sinister black object on a lanyard. The gift giver explains to the gathered women, and the audience that the gift she's brought for the soon to be born infant girl is a rape whistle. Text appearing on screen sells us the lie that fully half of girls in Canada will be raped in their lifetimes. The implication being that a corollary 1/2 of all canadian men are rapists who lack only opportunity.

Aside from being factually and numerically false by more than 2 orders of magnitude, this is not a message about averting criminal and sexual victimization, rather its is entirely about acculturating girls to fear and hate men, and teaching men and boys they are amoral,  violent criminals. And messages of this character are normal.

Similarly, we are regularly treated to the awareness-raising efforts of half educated champions for that most euphemistic of goals, “women's equality” such as Anita Sarkeesian. This being the women's studies indoctrinee who swindled the public out of over 200,000 in donations for the purpose of lecturing the video gaming community that the players and developers of video games are no more than a collection of sexist, bigoted woman haters. This attribution of malice based on the fact that as elements of a genre of fantasy entertainment, the female characters in video games often portray exaggerated sexual characteristics, such as improbably large boobs, and tight fitting or revealing costumes. But   Sarkeesian collected 200 grand to make sure male gamers and developers knew just what sort of low level scum they really are, while somehow failing to notice the equally unattainably hyper masculine, hyper muscular physiques of male game characters, or the fact that in all entertainment, male characters are killed, dismembered and disposed with such abandon that a culture of anti-male dehumanization has as viable a case as   Sarkeesian's female sexualization trope. But who cares about male objectification, right? As long as  Anita gets her 200 grand and male gamers learn what human garbage they are.

But it doesn't stop there, on any particular night, television audiences are treated to women belittling men, slapping them, kicking them in the groin – all of which stands for comedy. Violence is apparently only violence when it targets women. And in the world of scripted comedy – proving that men are an inferior species. Stupid, sex obsessed, violent, regressive, in comparison to the beauty, grace, good humour and general superiority of women.

We also now enjoy a culture which, when women or girls engage in violent, abusive, antisocial, or criminal behavior, our media rather than using simple descriptive adjectives such as those just listed, refers to such women and girls as if they are adopting masculine behaviours. The attachment of male identity to social pathology just one more point of data on a line of public though relentlessly demonizing, marginalizing and criminalizing the concept of masculinity.

How about sexual dismemberment, and a culture which when reporting on the pre-meditated sexual mutilation and dismemberment of a man, treats it as slapstick comedy. But when one voice of reason, from Sarah Gilbert pointed out that a female victim of equivalent mutilation would not be laughed at, the consensus excuse for mockery of a mutilated human being was “it's different”. This Explicit statement of separate standards of human consideration for male and female human beings.

When discussion turns toward education, in a climate which after 40 years of engineered female advantage in the education system, outcomes of 60 – 65 percent female graduates are treated by equality-seeking feminists not as a gross and growing imbalance to be repaired, but with triumphalism. The system dis-enfranchising men, socially and economically marginalizing them celebrated as a victorious and appropriate tool of growing fiscal and cultural subjugation.

And these few examples are just a tiny sample of the climate we now live in. One in which men are pigs, men are stupid, men are violent, men are all potential rapists, men are the problem, masculine sexuality is violent, and masculine identity is openly described as a force of anti female violence and bigotry. This is the world we are living in.

However, recognition of this social climate is relatively easy. What is more difficult to grasp is the prevalent public response to it. Men, in the majority are aware of their own untermensch status. But why do most of them not stand up in loud, clear objection to what is an obvious and multi generational trend of ever growing sexual apartheid?

To understand why most men, who despite a sharp awareness of their own barely human status in society do not repudiate this climate of hatred, an understanding of male public identity is necessary.
In the world of social identity, Women enjoy innate ownership of personhood. This is to say, a woman  does not have a requirement of performance, behavior, or utility on which her social personhood hangs. Women are seen as people, or as complete human beings simply by existing. This is a hold-over of ancient hominid instincts which were based on the survival economy of reproduction in pre-technological hominid history.

A reproductively viable female had an individually higher group-survival value than any single male. Indeed, in the small family units of a pre-technological human cultures loss of a reproductively viable female might mean the loss of reproductive capability of a genetic or a family line. By contrast, from a group survival perspective, the death of one or more male individuals would present a relatively much lower hazard to the continued reproductive viability of a family line. In fact, males within a group would only achieve reproductive opportunity by being of obvious utility to the group, or  to the reproductively viable females in that group. The highest achieving males in a group would have reproductive opportunity, the lower achieving males would not. Male social identity within family groups then depended not on simply existing, but on performance.

These instincts  however well they served pre-technological human cultures remain with us now, but are unaddressed in the socialization of men and women in a food-abundant, safe, modern world.

Women retain the social identity of “personhood” simply by existing, men by contrast must earn a social identity through group female consensus. A man is a good man based on his utility to women, or to higher status social entities than himself. In fact, a man's social status as a human being hangs in large part on his ongoing approval by women. If and when he ceased to be of positive utility, or of perceived utilitarian value – his human worth as a “person” evaporates. In any group dynamic bigger than 2 people, a man and a woman in social conflict will drive group sympathy instinctively towards the women, and group hostility instinctively towards the man. The most level headed, non violent and logical man, when faced with the visible anger or accusation by a female becomes, through group consensus – a bad, evil, enemy man. No longer a person, just a brute to be socially punished with exclusion, and often, punished with violence by the proxy of other conforming males in the local social group.

Unlike feminine personhood conventional masculine “personhood” is afforded to men by consensus of whatever local social group is locally relevant. This can be a family group, a collection of work colleagues, or even the line-up at the cash register of a grocery store.

This, by the way, is why most men don't complain, and don't speak up, in spite of awareness of our culture's escalating climate of male marginalization and censure. They know their social identity hangs of a consensus of approval from emotionally-instinctively-reasoning females, along with other conformist males.

In fact, conformist males – who instinctively understand their own status as “good men” depends not on fairness or rationality, but a combination of utility and of conformance with feminine group think are driven in their behavior in large degree by fear of their own social censure. This fear is what drives the aggressive policing by males of nonconformist male identity and behavior. Within the men's rights community, conformist males engaging in such policing and social enforcement are called white knights. The term is resoundingly condemning, and implies a knowledgeable collusion in male social segregation and male marginalization.

In order to cling, out of fear for their own conditional identity as a socially acceptable “real man” - white knights, or conformist men will climb over each other's bodies to attack any man who dares to stand up in defiance of this very old, but escalating climate of anti male hatred. This is the childishly simple game of the good man versus the bad man.

Knowing men as a social class carry all the cache of garden slugs, white knights, or conformist, and chivalry practicing males will attack any self defining men and non-conformist men as a tactic to deflect censure and the social stink of “all men are bad” away from themselves. By attacking men who field criticisms against the rising climate of anti-male hate, these chivalry practicing conformists attempt to distinguished themselves as “not one of those bad men”.

It appears obvious that these chivalry practicing men harbour no real belief in the recycled claims of misogyny, or any of the other boringly predictable ad-hominem arguments fielded against self actualizing or non conforming males. And this is how opposition to the populist, but violent and hateful ideology of feminism is transmuted into a portrayal of hatred, violence, and various imputation of masculine criminality by so-called men's rights activists. Chivalry practicing males, by throwing non-conforming men under the bus are attacking who they know they can get away with attacking – in an attempt to seek the approval of a collective female consensus. And they do this out of fear for loss of their own public identity as a “good man”.

White knights attack who they know is telling an uncomfortable truth, and they do this out of fear of loss of their own status as “worthwhile” humans. In the face of a growing public body of writing and evidence there is vanishingly little rational excuse for this socially toxic chivalry, it is easy to think of white knights as ethically bankrupt cowards.

However, even as such men are a continued encumbrance to attaining some semblance of parity with women in the legal rights of men and boys, these fearful white knights still need a way to overcome their fear and recognize that self defined masculine identity, apart from the consensus-based conformism they're accustomed to.

How this can be accomplished, providing a path for self-possessed male identity, while being attacked by the same white knights whose fear of consensus censure drives their toxic chivalry?

Individually, there may be no practical approach, and treatment of white knights with an absolute lack of mercy does appear to be the most useful tactic. For all the social pressure to on men to conform to a narrative in which masculinity is criminal or negative, to buy into this, sacrificing other men for the transient approval of a corrupt public ethic is nothing except cowardice deserving of contempt. But, it might be that distain towards chivalry – as if it is a behavioural atavism as regressive and socially corrosive as racism, that this is exactly what's called for to allow those few early adopters to make the cognitive leap necessary to shed a instinctive but toxic pattern of thought. Racism was once, not too long ago not only socially normal, it was socially correct. However, while we still posses the hominid instincts for the primitive tribalism expressing itself as racism, we recognize it as toxic, and for the most part, we oppose it.

 Chivalry is just one more regressive and socially corrosive atavistic behavior. Once, not long ago a group bias and open contempt and social violence was acceptable towards visible ethnic out-groups. Racism still exists, obviously, but we understand the problem through the ethical principal of universality. Now  our instinctive sexual group preference in matters of justice, access and acceptable behavior needs to reflect an ethic of universality too.

Continued indulgence in sexually selective chivalry, and the policing of nonconformist male identity must be recognized and treated with the open scorn and contempt which open racism now elicits. The male enforcers of chivalry, while they too are trapped in atavistic thinking and a public personhood which hangs provisionally on group evaluation of their utility are best served by treatment with scorn for failing to define themselves – and letting fear rule their thinking.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

How to cultivate indifference and contempt


Every day or two, I'll stumble across an anecdotal story, or piece of writing by a female writer, talking about some aspect of sexism from a female perspective. Usually, while the stories show a legitimate cause for the type of low level venting these stories present, there is another element present as well. There is almost always a degree of assumed contempt towards average men. Examples include referring to online gamers as “neckbeardy type guys”, or referring to ownership of an expensive car as small-penis compensation, or as kindness as creepiness. There are many more examples, and they are almost always a very minor descriptive element in whatever issue is being related.

However, In something I read online today, there was an addendum to the female-authored posting which, although it acknowledged the issue in the original posting, seemed also to miss the point.

The addendum was :
ALRIGHT I GIVE UP I'VE NERD-SHAMED. FORGIVE ME, [...] I'LL REPENT I'LL REPENT.

While this isn't an apology as much as it is a demand for forgiveness -  that is not the main point the author missed. She does not need to apologize to the “neckbeards” referred to in her original posting, because she has not done them any harm. Men within their own communities – of which online gaming is one, are not hurt by the belittling commentary of outsiders or women. The culture of easy, casual insult by women against average men, creeps, neckbeards, mother's-basement-dweller and so on, has a effect which might not be recognized by women. Guys generally don't need to be told they're held in contempt as a group, our wider culture makes this sparklingly clear. However, individual instances of circumstantial ad-hom have the very real effect of making men not care about women's opinions.

In the original posting which prompted me to write this, I stopped reading in the first sentence, on seeing the phrase neckbeardy guys. Whatever else was said, I don't know, because that phrase erased my interest in whatever the original author was saying. Her opinion became irrelevant, and she became irrelevant as a person. I copy-pasted the pseudo -apology at the end, because it stood out, being written in all caps, but wherever else was written, I'll never see. Am I a neck-beard? No, I'm clean shaven, Im not an online gamer, I have a girlfriend, a career, I dress well et-cetera. But whenever I see some casual, throw away comment like creeper, neck-beard or other minor belittling insult used to describe average men, ‡‡ it cements my not giving a shit about the opinions offered.

This should not be misunderstood, I don't hate women, I don't believe in any “back to the kitchen” nonsense, or any other female-targeted belittlement. What I'm talking about is my personal attitude towards women's opinions, their utterances, their writing, their thoughts, their contribution to society. If you are a woman reading this, that means your thoughts, ideas, speech, writing and so on.

The woman whose post motivated me to write this might have had something deep to say, I'll never know, because she erased my interest in her opinion. I was not hurt by it, nor insulted, nor was my mood changed, I simply stopped caring at all about whatever she had to say. That is why her pseudo-apology was misguided.

I see minor, pointless throw-away comments like “neckbeardy guys” all the time. I understand that they have a purpose for those who use them. Degrading others is one of the ways for insecure individuals to feel better about themselves, and honestly, our culture of media absolutely cultivates a climate of low-level contempt towards male identity. But I am confident that my reaction to it is common and for me, it cultivates indifference to female opinion.

Obviously, I cared enough to write this, so maybe everything I've said can be ignored, right? Maybe. However, I wrote this because I'm rationally aware of that cultivated indifference. I know that if its widely shared by other men, it will elevate the degree of disfunction in the culture of which I am a part.  So for the original author of the throw-away remark which motivated this response, and for every other woman who might criticize perceived sexism against themselves. If you really want men to totally disregard your opinion, and to grow even more disinterested and contemptuous of your writing, commentary, your opinion and so on, keep doing it.

Now, I'll go grow myself a beard.

‡‡ Quote-mining alert: Items within the body of the article denoted by the double-dagger symbol present an opportunity for the dishonest to take content out of it's original context and re-frame the intention of the statement. All such individuals, even those building accusations around the re-contextualized statements should expect to be treated with maximum scorn and contempt.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Male Sexuality, Un-Demonized



Commercial sexual services are a feature of every human society, a fact which suggests such services address basic human needs transcending cultural boundaries.

However, in feminist influenced cultures, including our own, a persistent and shrill narrative continues to denounce the existence of this area of commerce, and the consumers of commoditized sex, using hyperbolic language such as "the commercial rape industry" or equating transactional sexual encounters as innately violent.

Sexualized imagery is similarly condemned with claims that sexualization of women de-humanizes them or dis-empowers them. All of this narrative wielded by feminists in service of the goal of characterizing male sexuality, and the human needs of men to feel desired as pathological, perverse, or criminal.

Understanding breeds compassion, and so, within the theoretical framework of the Compassion for Men Movement, we begin with an examination of one of the most demonized aspects of men, their use of the services offered by the sex industry. This series is a joint project by Johntheother and TyphonBlue who contributes article content at AVfM, Genderratic  and co-hosts AVfM Radio along with JTO and Girl Writes What


Surveys of men who seek gratification through commercial sex services – either porn, or prostitution, or lap dances or any other commercial sex showed that rather than men seeking sexual gratification as rutting animals – modelled on the Dworkinian view of men as subhuman; men's motivation to seek commercial sex is based on the human need to be recognized as desirable. 

This runs contrary to the populist notion of male sexuality as debased, inferior and pathological.
Socially, men are expected to validate women's value as objects of sexual desire by exhibiting attraction, affection, and deference, but at the same time, men are also expected to weather a culturally normal climate of pre-emptive rejection. 

Further, men must pass tests of fitness, financial and physical, to ‘prove’ the worth of their desire. All of these expectations validates the feminine fantasy of hyper-desirability; desirability beyond the humanly possible.


The self validation of women and girls by rejection of positive male attention is expressed in hundreds of small, socially normal gestures and practices. De-escalation of male initiated social contacts. Two messages or more required for a single call-back. Voice message left, but only a text message returned. All these variations on ‘playing hard to get’ reflects a normal social protocol in which men, on whom the onus has always been to initiate social contact, have to make a more overt effort than that which is returned, even when the woman in question desires that contact. This establishes a climate in which men automatically assume a low level of ongoing social rejection. This is normal across our culture, and masculine complaint can be easily punished through the censure of “wimp”, “sissy” and similar minor insult. 

Feminine attire which puts secondary sexual characteristics on display is standard in casual clothing as well as evening attire or less formally “party clothes”. The obvious purpose of such clothes being to amplify the wearer's overt feminine sexuality and command attention. Conversely, although all men are expected to respond with positive attention, only those passing the feminine test of high status or conspicuous wealth are allowed to express their stimulated attention. This is the social levy exacted, but only returned to those males overtly demonstrating their utility as dispensers of upward social mobility and feminine access to resources. 

Men expressing the attraction or desire socially assumed of them also risk censure if such expression is mis-timed, too overt, or for any reason, not reciprocated.
This elaborate, confusing dance becomes much simpler in the lens of manufacturing hyper-desire. The more obstacles a man must overcome to express his desire the more the woman feels desired by the man.
Romance novels can be reduced down to a simple formula in which female desirability inspires grandiose acts of self-sacrifice on the part of the male.

The men in romance novels are ‘eyeballs and actions’, empty ciphers that exist only to illuminate the hyper-desirability of the female protagonist.
In fact this whole system, from shaming of male sexuality as debased through the expectation that men weather rejection without end in order to manufacture hyper-desire for women to it's vetting of which men are allowed to desire—excludes men from a fundamental human need—developed through eons of evolution as pair-bonders—the feeling of being desirable.
In discussions of female sexual objectification for the purpose of marketing to man, the usual language describing imagery of women usually refers to “tits and ass”. 

However, research from the Center for Behavioural Neuroscience in Atlanta[3] shows that depiction of the feminine gaze is key to male attraction to such images. It is, in fact, the sexual agency of an attractive woman, as expressed through a direct gaze towards the male subject that lights up the male’s reward response system. [4] When an attractive woman is presented as a ‘sex object’ her gaze averted and herself unengaged with him—his reward system is unresponsive.

To put it simply, men look at porn to feel sexually desirable. Men pay strippers to get positive, sexualized attention from women. Men use prostitutes to feel like whole sexual beings.
It is, in fact, the basic human need to feel not only loved, but sexually desired turns out to be what drives the use of commercial sexual services by men. Most women are aware that being a woman does not detract from their sexual desirability; most men are acutely aware that being a man most certainly does. In that context male sexual fantasies revolve around male sexuality simply being desirable.

 Porn can be likened to the fantasies of an impoverished developing nation—it’s people imagine a world with abundant and plentiful food. Romance novels are, on the other hand, the fantasies of a prosperous nation—sprawling McMansions, yachts, vacations to the Caribbean.

In this context the social censure against men’s self medication for the psychic wound inflicted on them by women’s thirst for hyper-desirability is just as morally bankrupt as a prosperous nation sneering at the ‘base and animalistic urges’ of an impoverished nation for food and clean water.
We starve men, then shame them for their hunger and then when they reach for what little food is within their grasp, we smack their hand away.

[1] http://www.genderratic.com/p/745/stripping-and-original-male-sin/
[2] http://www.cbc.ca/q/blog/2012/01/10/why-do-men-go-to-strip-clubs/

[3] http://www.science20.com/news_articles/gender_and_porn_where_men_and_women_look_first
[4] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOY3QH_jOtE&feature=player_detailpage#t=2743s


TyphonBlue teamed up with JtO to examine the human needs motivating men to seek services in the sex industry, from pornography to prostitution. TB is a Canadian social commentator who writes about the state of decay in the relationship between the genders in our culture with a focus on men’s vulnerability and women’s agency.